Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
