Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
now i know why i became what i already was.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
