I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
