you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I want to stick my p in your. b.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why do cheetos always look like penises
this will be a night to untag.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
