That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
