My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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