After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
