They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
