did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
