Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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