im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
