Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
