Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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