So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
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Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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