i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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