He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
