I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
