worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
