If you die in college, do you die in real life?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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