they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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