You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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