I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
