is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
