Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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