look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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