"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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