there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize