He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
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You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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