I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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