My sheets look like a crime scene.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just had sex bonerless
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
