Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
