If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
