Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize