youre lurking in front of me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
