I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
