you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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