Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
