I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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