I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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