sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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