How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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