If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
