just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
