she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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