don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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