he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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