I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How does one acquire holy water?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
