He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
