i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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