3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Your penis caused this!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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