Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Randomize
