Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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