you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
