is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
