using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
