maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
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Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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