i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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