And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
