so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
