1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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