quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
