I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
