i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
